When Mom & Dad yell at the game, that's no fun (click for full article)

Youth sports can turn some parents into raving lunatics. Especially at the elite level. These parents love to yell: They yell at coaches. They yell at officials. Saddest of all, they yell at their own children for not playing up to an arbitrary standard. This is a mistake on many different levels. Child athletes rely on parents as their primary psychological support. When a parent gives or withholds support contingent on the child's athletic performance, it can cause emotional damage. Ironically, the first symptom of this may be poorer athletic performance.

Child athletes have plenty to worry about already. An overbearing parent in the stands adds another layer of stress. What is the best approach? Child athletes have plenty to worry about already. An overbearing parent in the stands adds another layer of stress. What is the best approach? Sports psychologists tell us that moderation is the key. Parents should offer positive support and continuous encouragement. Some young athletes need a little extra push to achieve the goals they set for themselves. But parents need to observe limits in this regard.

Children do better when they have the chance to try different sports, and when they are encouraged to balance athletic, school and family responsibilities. They need to be committed to all areas of their lives. Parent-child dialogue (e. g. dinner conversation) needs to extend beyond sports. You don't want to introduce your son or daughter as "so and so, the hockey player." The sport shouldn't completely define them; it's simply an activity for them to enjoy.

Playing competitive sports (and watching one's kids doing so) can be a character-building experience for both children and their parents. But we all need to remember that winning isn't everything. Effort, leadership, new skills and fair play also deserve our praise. It goes without saying that parents should never compare their kids to siblings or teammates. "Why can't you pass the puck like ...?" is a devastating parenting faux pas. And training should never be used as a form of punishment (more laps or push-ups). Children need to see us at practice sessions as well as games, to know that we care about them and their sport, and not only winning. Finally, we should set an example of dignity and demeanour in the stands and on the sidelines. As TSN hockey commentator Bob McKenzie says in his new book, Hockey Dad, "There needs to be an emergency brake between the brain and the mouth."

We all want our kids to win. But we also want them to enjoy the game. When we apply McKenzie's brake, we increase their chances of doing both.

-Tim Rindlisbacher, BSc (PT), MD, Dip. Sport Med., is director of Sports Health at the Cleveland Clinic in Toronto.

Thank-you Lori Sheidow for your submission!